Isolate or Indulge.

We know pain. We know heartache. We know what it is to feel like we have been hit by a bus straight in the middle our of chests. A feeling of being completely
knocked over, on all fours, and attempting to breathe. But there is no air. It all seems to have been swallowed up in the previous gasp. We know fear that can cripple, we know anxiety that can paralyze.

For such a long time I wanted to live in a world that has no pain. A world where pain doesn’t exist. Because no such world exists, we attempt to create one.  Or we do everything within our power to dull the pain and act like it doesn’t exist. We are desperate to drown out how we are really feeling.

Isolate or Indulge.

These approaches are all around us. It’s a hardness of heart.  When these little worlds are being created it doesn’t work. We learn to live in isolation. We learn to live defensively. We learn to say I trust in God with our mouths but we refuse to believe it in our hearts. How can we tell, lets evaluate how we function day to day. We keep others at arms length and at a distance. We also keep God out. It’s a dead life- trapped and enslaved to the managing of the walls we’ve created and it only leads to  self destruction all the while still longing for the intimacy we crave. That longing that needs to be filled, the longings we were all born with. So we either isolate or exchange it for cheap substitutes never to be filled by that which can fill us. Both bringing: more pain.

We usually end up living from a place of assumptions. That pain and disappointment will always be there, that it doesn’t go away. We develop a pessimistic attitude towards life and a critical attitude towards others and we withdraw. Or we live for the weekends and pray for the next opportunity to drown out the harsh realities that come from living in a broken and chaotic world. This isn’t living. This is existing. This is just getting by. And I believe we were meant for more than this.

For no man is an island, this I know.”- Ben Howard.

Some pain we create for ourselves. We walk straight into it therefore we can justify why it’s present. But other times pain is inflicted by another and all you are left with is your own response. Some pain is unexplainable.  Where it comes from can steal the focus. Where does the pain come from? Who has inflicted it? Let’s blame. I wonder if the focus should be somewhere else?  Like what do we do with the blows that we have been dealt. What do we do with the arrows left in our backs?

Pain: it’s a part of life. Loss….it grieves the soul and the spirit. What do we do with that? All we can do is recognize the pain that we experience and bring it to Jesus. Bring it to the cross. When we encounter heartache in the world, we bring it to Jesus. When another brother or sister is struggling we bring them to Jesus. Sometimes the burden can feel too heavy to carry. I find myself getting emotional and very  moved by brokenness and pain these days. It’s like the sensitivity barometer has come into full swing.

Jesus understood pain and heartache yet still surrendered Himself to God. There were moments of reflection, moments of tears- in fact blood sweat and tears. But in spite of His wrestlings with God,  He chose Calvary, He chose the cup. And out of His pain came new life. Out of submitting himself to His Father,  out of death, life broke through. Sometimes we only see the resurrected savior. It slips are minds that He hung nailed to a cross.  He demonstrated something big through this…….he says,

” I know what you are going through

I relate to your circumstance

I understand

I know it’s hard

I know it’s tough but I get it.”

And the he committed his Spirit into the Fathers hand. There was a oneness he wanted to see through to the end with His Father. That same oneness that Jesus prays for us in John 17.

 

So if pain and suffering breeds new life and gives us new insight, I recognize how un-biblical it is to attempt to create worlds where pain isn’t present or to dull the pain by abusing our own bodies. I think in the end we just end up lying to ourselves.

Welcome to my thoughts on the first pages of this book. It’s all about surrender. Submitting ourselves to God with everything and when we do this, He transforms. It starts with us being open. Open to what God is yearning to do in our hearts. We have to be or it doesn’t work. We can’t hold onto our lives and still find our God given identity. We can’t hold onto pain all the while expect healing to take place. It doesn’t work like that. He has a new identity to give to us when we are ready to let go of the old ones we have been clinging onto so tightly.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LO36F–Vn1g – Love her

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This entry was published on April 10, 2012 at 8:09 pm and is filed under My Journey. Bookmark the permalink. Follow any comments here with the RSS feed for this post.

2 thoughts on “Isolate or Indulge.

  1. momma on said:

    love you Shannon……….lots of good stuff here. It has made me think deeper today, and submit to the cross. Love you, Momma Molle

  2. Thanks Momma Molle.

    Love you too!

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