I didn’t expect to be writing tonight as all day I have been preparing for sharing on Sunday and reading up for my mission and culture paper that is due in the next week. I picked up some things tonight that have been in storage for what
would be a year today. ( I didn’t realize that until I actually thought about it)
They say you can tell a lot about a person by what is in their room. Before tonight my belongings were all new and fresh from the states. A lot of great gifts from people such as my mom, Melissa, and countless others. I can’t wash my face in the morning or put on my jewelry without thinking of these people who I adore.
As I unpack tonight, I have piles of stuff from clothing, to toiletries and other things that have memories wrapped around them. It looks like a bomb went off in two bedrooms of the house. I sit on the floor and think of how do I tackle the mess. A part of me wants to jump right on it and another part of me wants to sit in the middle of it and remember.
Some things I pull out such as my Ralph Lauren pillows and I am reminded of when I got them. For my 17th birthday from my grandmother and they were important enough to me to have shipped over when I moved five years ago. They remind me of being comfortable and of days where sleeping came a lot easier. I see a pair of slippers and all I can do is laugh to myself. I wore them to a lot of youth work events in Sutton Coldfield along with my p.j. bottoms that came out in public occasionally.
There are photos and notebooks and oil burners and clothing all have stories. I wonder if that is why I have left the stuff just pile up. Because mostly everything that is around me represents someone or something that I don’t want to let go of, that somehow is a part of me.
I apologize friends that I haven’t blogged in a while. There have been moments and opportunities to do so but I thought it would be best to wait until after Sunday because I don’t want to give anything away. What I can say is this though, a little follow on from the last blog:
Since Mike gave me the text to bring to you, God has me on a massive learning curve about foundations. About how he desires to press deeper into me the foundations that I have built on truth and that they continue to become so much a part of me. And the areas that are not solid on truth, he is stripping, removing, revealing truth, and setting them straight upright.
I laugh to myself because I see this same theme run through the pages of Nehemiah and the particular chapter of what I am talking about this Sunday. God has a way of doing that. He calls you to share His Word and then in the preparation time somehow makes it a part of who you are. He sends you on a massive journey to own the text.
So me going to get my things tonight and unpack isn’t a matter of mere planning or me desiring to have it all back. I believe God’s timing is perfect and He wanted to show me something pretty profound. Here I was thinking everything was so pretty in this space that I live in. That it was all set up so well, in a lot of ways the foundations of my room. And then when the timing was right, he brings these familiar things back to me. It brings up memories that are amazing and others that are extremely difficult. And then I reflect back on why they were that way. Either way though, I cherish them greatly and am thankful that they have shaped who I am.
And then God says, you see Shannon, “You thought it was all sorted and all pretty, and yes some parts of you are but that is only because of me. And well the other stuff…….. I am bringing this stuff back up to refine you one step further and replace things that were not of me, with all of me.”
-Though none go with me, still I will follow. No turning back, no turning back. I have nothing to lose and everything to gain.