I have been saying for ages that I want to start the keeping up with a blog but actually doing it has been something else. Here it is and I am eager to update it as often as possible! As I have been creating this with the help of my friend Ashley Elizabeth, I am remembering that tomorrow is New Years Eve. It will be the start of a new year and a new season in life but as I think about moving forward, I reflect on where I have been this year. And what a journey it has been.
In the beginning of the year I was working in a church in North Birmingham on a three year placement and finished in the summer. I went to America twice and went to France for the first time. I moved to a new town and started in a new church with a new group of young people, new places to see, new people to meet and understand. That brings me to this point. Its been a long year, full of excitement, full of hardships bringing heartache and pain, bringing love and grace, full of growth and full of understanding. In some ways I feel like I have aged. In other ways I feel like an immature child. I guess it might be good to have a bit of both for the balance to be right.
But what I realize the most is how human I am. Sometimes I forget this. Working in full time ministry, being surrounded by people who believe in God and attempting to be the best example to young people can be really full on. Sometimes there is this pressure to be a superhero. There is a sense of feeling always in the lime light and always on show. And this is true. However this has been key for the youth here in my new placement. To see me struggle and to see me work through the hard stuff but to also see me rejoice at the end of it. My goal is for people to have a well rounded view of me and not some perfect leader who has her act together all the time because I don’t. This most certainly has been the case for this year.
As I have been reflecting and reading, my pastor spoke about the seasons in ecclesiastes three and they could not be more relevant. Just to refresh you
“There’s an opportune time to do things, a right time for everything on the earth:
A right time for birth and another for death,
A right time to plant and another to reap,
A right time to kill and another to heal,
A right time to destroy and another to construct,
A right time to cry and another to laugh,
A right time to lament and another to cheer,
A right time to make love and another to abstain,
A right time to embrace and another to part,
A right time to search and another to count your losses,
A right time to hold on and another to let go,
A right time to rip out and another to mend,
A right time to shut up and another to speak up,
A right time to love and another to hate,
A right time to wage war and another to make peace.”
What a range of emotions and feelings that take place in these seasons. This passage resonates within the very core of my being. In discovering which season I have been in at times it has brought tears and in others seasons it has brought joy. But thats life.
Moving forward into 2011 I don’t know if I have any major plans or drastic dreams yet other than to love God more than what I ever have and to love people extravagantly. I think this is key to what God has asked me to do. Dreams will unravel as time moves on but for now this is what I want my life to look like and be remembered for: is that I was someone who loved well.